I realise I haven't actually posted about ME for nearly a year. Blogging is only something I do on occasions, I'm not going to be updating every week, I never aimed to do so, I'm just going to put things up if I want to write about them. If you haven't gauged now I'm quite a liberal person but in terms of sex I'm quite conservative. I don't want to just do it, I want to actually know the person. Yes cruising does sound attractive but then my personal beliefs wouldn't allow that to happen. Having promiscuous sex sounds like a perfect fantasy but at the end of the day I want more than that. Well anyway I hold my hand up I'm still a virgin, and proud of it. I don't see the need to have sex unless I want to and nobody is going to enforce a different opinion on me. Yes I do think about sex but it's not like my ambition to get laid, I'm still figuring things out.

Well the continuing saga of who I am. As I have said before I'm quite sure I'm 70% gay 30% straight, if that is ever possible. The reason I say that is because I'm sexually attracted to guys but when I see "my" type of girl I also want to "tap" that! lol. And as I have said I've only ever had a female crush in my life - honestly. Well, I think I may have developed a new crush. To be honest I don't want a relationship now, it's just the wrong time and as foolish as it sounds I only want to have a relationship if I can see a future between the two of us and three years away (on uni) isn't going to be easy to hold a relationship. I feel the same way towards this girl as I did towards my first crush. It's just really awkward for me but as I have said I don't fantasize about these crushes of mine like I fantasize about a hot guy! I think some of you will say I'm in denial but to be honest I don't think I am, I can see myself being very happy with a girl but then I might want some male company and vice versa. 

Back to this crush of mine, she is actually a friend, I know her because we are on the same course and we talk quite often but my course is going to end soon and realistically I don't see us keeping in close contact, maybe the occasional meet up. I don't know why I haven't really met a male crush, maybe because the type of guy I'm attracted to just doesn't exist. I want someone that is not too macho/hard yet not too camp/soft - that applies to girls as well! I want someone that I can talk to and doesn't just leave me to instigate conversation. I want somebody that is versatile, not in that way! I mean I can lean on their shoulders sometimes and other times they can lean on mine e.g. I don't want somebody to dominate. I need someone quite open minded, active but doesn't have a cesspit of friends so I feel left out. Oh my god I sound like I'm typing a lonely hearts column!

It's a lie if I say I haven't been attracted to males I've known but I haven't seem to found one that I crush on. I just never find the right personality. I got to know somebody I kind of liked but then I found out he was a mormon. I suddenly realised I'm a total introvert! Not shy, find the definition! Anyway I can't think at the moment, will update later if I can.